England recorded yet another thrilling victory of their Bazball era at Headingley this week. Ben Gardner has ranks all of their Test wins under Brendon McCullum and Ben Stokes, from least to most absurd.
England’s victory against India at Headingley contained everything you could want from a Test match: wild swings, spectacular individual performances, fire-breathing fast bowling and breathtaking batting to combat it. At its conclusion, it was quickly hailed as being among England’s best wins of their new era. But, well, is it? That’s not to denigrate the entertainment in Leeds, but simply to point out that there have been rather a lot of thrillers, and we shouldn’t let recency bias cloud our judgement. So, let’s rank them, from least to most absurd.
There’s basically three tiers here: routine wins against teams England are expected to beat. Interesting wins against good teams that ordinarily would get a lot more credit. And the classics, which somehow make up just under half of the list.
West Indies, Edgbaston, 2024
England won by 10 wickets
I had to look this one up. Smith runs, Woakes runs, Wood speed. Dead rubber. Move on.
Ireland, Lord’s, 2023
England won by 10 wickets
About the maddest thing that happened in this game was Ireland not picking Josh Little because it wasn’t “a pinnacle event”. Ollie Pope made a run-a-ball double century that somehow gets held against him as evidence he can only do it against weak teams. Ireland made it past the follow-on, which is nice for them.
Zimbabwe, Trent Bridge, 2025
England won by an innings and 45 runs
Sikandar Raza’s post-game sprint to the PSL final added some ridiculousness, as did Stokes v the media over Pope and Bethell. After England’s inevitable run-fest on day one, dominated by debates over whether these runs counted or not, this game was good fun, with Zimbabwe showing plenty of spark and spunk.
West Indies, Lord’s, 2024
England won by an innings and 114 runs
That this was Anderson’s farewell Test elevates it, as does Atkinson’s show-stealing on debut, but overall, a depressingly one-sided affair.
West Indies, Trent Bridge, 2024
England won by 241 runs
The best of the three Windies Tests, because of Kavem Hodge’s rousing century.
Sri Lanka, Lord’s, 2024
England won by 190 runs
Gus Atkinson blasted a hundred, that’s about it. Joe Root did too, but then he always does.
South Africa, Old Trafford, 2022
England won by an innings and 85 runs
We’re into the ‘decent wins that get overlooked because of how mad England’s maddest wins are’ territory. This has a claim to being their most normal Test match victory of the current era – they bowled South Africa out cheaply and built a big lead while scoring at under fours – and only takes that top spot because, at this point, after four bonkers wins before a gut-punch defeat, we didn’t know they could do normal.
New Zealand, Mount Maunganui, 2023
England won by 267 runs
A day one declaration so Anderson could have a bowl under lights was as mad as this one got. Ben Foakes also got promoted to No.6 because Stokes was doing a poo, which is fun.
Pakistan, Karachi, 2022
England won by eight wickets
The least good of the Pakistan whiteash wins was still pretty good, in the balance until Rehan Ahmed’s five-for as, absurdly, England’s youngest ever Test debutant.
New Zealand, Wellington, 2024
England won by 323 runs
Of a piece with the first Test of the series but not as good. Brook blitzed a nonsense hundred at better than a run a ball after England were 43-4, but after New Zealand collapsed, the game was done. Jacob Bethell had his fun as well, falling four short of a ‘flair’ (his words) century.
Sri Lanka, Old Trafford, 2024
England won by five wickets
Close to being a classic, with Kamindu Mendis’ third innings ton not quite pushing the chase into the challenging range and Joe Root calming any butterflies at the end.
South Africa, The Oval, 2022
England won by nine wickets
An underratedly mad game, with the first three innings scores all below 200 before Zak Crawley took the piss in a chase that should have been nervy.
New Zealand, Christchurch, 2024
England won by eight wickets
New Zealand forgot how to catch and Harry Brook made the most of his five lives, effectively averaging 30 but finishing with 171 as England recovered 71-4. The Black Caps, unusually generous in this game, also donated a load of wickets to fall just short of 350 and allow England to take control. Bethell then smashed one of the fastest debut fifties in Test history. England would go on to claim a first series win in New Zealand in a generation. It’s halfway up this list.
Pakistan, Multan, 2022
England won by 26 runs
Now then. Now we’re talking. We’ll get to Rawalpindi, but what followed wasn’t bad. This was a proper game of cricket, cut through with a Bazball streak. England crashed 281 in two sessions on day one and still claimed a big lead. Then Brook steered England through tricky waters to set a total above 350. And Pakistan almost got there, and were 290-5 before collapsing to 328 all out. How on earth is this not in the top ten? You’ll see.
New Zealand, Lord’s, 2022
England won by five wickets
The debut that set the template for an inimitable style that still deserves to be considered a classic in its own right. Wes Anderson’s Bottle Rocket, basically. You had about 12 slips on day one and Matt Potts cashing in. You had Jack Leach throwing himself into the wall in true McCullum fashion, concussing himself out of and Matt Parkinson into the Test. You had New Zealand effectively 240-4 and then setting ‘only’ 277. And you had Joe Root, beaming, a man with the weight of the world lifted, not just icing England’s first unlikely Bazball chase with a serene century, but doing so quickly enough to get the day four punters their money back.
India, Headingley, 2025
England won by five wickets
How did India lose this? They were 430-3 and 333-4. Only one team in history had lost making four centuries, let alone five. They had Jasprit Bumrah, for crying out loud. And yet England cruised home in dead-eyed fashion. There was plenty else to unpack as well. Rishabh Pant’s front-flip. Rishabh Pant’s everything else. Brook v Bumrah. Duckett’s reverse sweeps. So why isn’t it higher? Partly, there’s an internal logic to the game which isn’t present in the Tests above it. India collapsed because they have a bad tail. Catches win matches, and India couldn’t catch. Get through Bumrah and you can take runs off the rest. England have chased bigger before, and so when they did it again, it did seem that bit less surprising. The problem of pushing the limits of what’s possible is, next time, you’ve pushed the limits of what’s possible.
New Zealand, Headingley, 2022
England won by seven wickets
The second half of day two, in which Trent Boult (who became the first bowler to clean bowl an entire top three in an opening spell) and New Zealand reduced England to 55-6, before a double century stand between Bairstow and Jamie Overton, on debut, is up there with the most extraordinary under the current regime. The rest wasn’t quite as good, but did include Jack Leach’s ten wickets, one of which was caught at mid-off via the non-striker’s bat.
Australia, The Oval, 2023
England won by 49 runs
A greatest hits parade for the greatest Ashes series since the greatest Ashes series of all time. Zak Crawley, naturally, drove the first ball of the game for four again. Stuart Broad hit his last ball with the bat for six and then took the match-sealing wicket. That was his second bail-switch dismissal of the game, England’s arch mischief maker with one more trick up his sleeve. You had ball-change-gate and then post-match-drinks-gate, the Aussies upset that even England’s celebrations were more fun than theirs.
Australia, Headingley, 2023
England won by three wickets
Wood bowling rockets, Marsh on his front foot, Stokes peppering the Western Terrace again. When the Ashes looked gone, Moeen swindled a couple in the day three gloaming, another ball change, a behind-the-sofa run chase, and Wood and Woakes with arms round the shoulders beaming at the end of it all.
India, Edgbaston, 2022
England won by seven wickets
England’s highest ever run chase, knocked off before the second new ball. This after Bairstow had been pinpricked by Virat Kohli into his third century in four innings in the first dig, which would become four in five, the greatest such stretch of batting in Test history. All against a team who had England on the ropes 10 months earlier. Each had new captains, and England’s had them on the rise.
New Zealand, Trent Bridge, 2022
England won by five wickets
The first hundred of Jonny Bairstow’s monster run, fuelled by the instantly iconic cup of coffee and a ham and cheese toastie. You also had Joe Root reverse ramping on the fourth morning, days after Geoff Boycott had basically written, ‘the good thing about Root is he never reverse ramps’.
Pakistan, Multan, 2022
England won by an innings and 47 runs
You don’t concede 550 and win. You definitely don’t concede 550 and win by an innings. England crossed 800 as Brook made a triple and Root 250. And Stokes wasn’t even needed to marshall it.
Pakistan, Rawalpindi, 2022
England won by 74 runs
Often, people use ‘heist’ to refer to a game of cricket swindled at the last moment, when a team is on top throughout only to see it snatched from their grasp. This was a proper heist, in the Ocean’s Eleven sense, a plan perfectly concocted, with a million moving parts, the picture only becoming clear when it’s too late to do anything to stop it. England made millions quickly on day one. Pakistan made millions a bit more slowly after that. Stokes then declared, giving Pakistan a chance of a win they had no right to. And then England won it at the death, Anderson and Robinson reverse-swinging through the tail. Their most perfectly constructed performance, bar none.
India, Hyderabad, 2024
England won by 28 runs
But this is this England we’re talking about. We’re not here for executed plans and masterminded gambits. We’re here for the totally inexplicable, and for that, we have to go to Hyderabad at the start of last year. England picked not one, not two, but three rookie spinners in the squad, with one Test cap between them. The only tweaker with any experience sustained an injury that would rule him out of the tour in the first innings. Tom Hartley got Jaiswaled on the first evening, the kind of pummeling from which debut spinners sometimes never recover. At this point, you didn’t beat India in India full stop, let alone when you’re five down batting again and still trailing. And then Ollie Pope ran at, ramped, and swept the danger. He played and missed, offered chances, and all the while dragged England back into the game. And still, chasing 231, India were favourites, before Hartley claimed seven wickets to win it by a few hits.
Next week, we rank the defeats.
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